a blog about an Essex girl living in Swansea, chatting about baking, rowing, other bits and bobs, and some crazy teaching times in India

Thursday, 18 October 2012


The last post I did originally write a couple of days ago, when I was at a bit of a low point. Now I'm having a good week. I think. I'm having Nando's tonight, so surely that's a good thing too? With my best pal, Lucy. This girl is one of my absolute favourites at university. Last year saw me encounter a couple of hurdles, but she's always been there to help me get over them. I only met her about this sort of time last year, when we both joined the rowing club, but it feels like I've known her for ages. She's the person whose door I can knock on whenever I fancy and come into her room and have a little rant, or chat about silly stuff, or crawl onto her bed and annoy the hell out of her, and she won't mind. Well, I think she does secretly, but maybe not too much.

What does being a brilliant friend mean to you? What does your best friend do? What do you do for your best friend? Everyone's different, aren't they? I know boys are. Their relationships seem so much more casual, but also easier. They seem to not get caught up on all the tiny little things, and worry more about the big things. They can have a full on 'let's-get-lairy' fight and throw a couple of punches (maybe not too hard though, and maybe not aimed at the face), sleep on it, and be right as rain in the morning. Back to being best buds. Girls are so much more complicated, I find. Why are our minds more complex and intricate? Why do we worry about the silly things that, in reality, don't really matter? I like to think I possess that boy-like demeanor of not actually caring, but I know I'm just kidding myself. I also get wound up by small things my friends sometimes do. I am quite a laid-back person with certain situations; trying not to let things get under my skin, because I know if I give them time to pass, they won't matter anymore.

Back to best friends. If you type into Google 'How to be a best friend' a wide variety of things come up on the search. WikiHow boasts a step-by-step plan on how to create that 'perfect' friendship. But isn't everyone different? There are some good points. It suggests to love yourself first, and also not to be fake. That's true. Don't push things that aren't going to happen. It won't work otherwise. If you're chalk and cheese, you're always probably going to be just that: chalk and cheese. I could not be friends with someone that didn't share at least some of my interests. I can't talk about things I'm not really into. I find it really, really difficult. It's like small talk. You get past the courteous "how are you," "what are you doing nowadays?" and after nodding a couple of times and saying "that's nice," the conversation begins to peter out, and you're left struggling for topics you can discuss; staring at your shoes and fiddling with your jumper sleeve.

Mmm, tasty. I do love a good bit of chalk with my cheese

I think it's all about common ground. It's all about being able to giggle together. It's about being able to share all your little secrets, even those really dark ones. "Well, this happened last night... I am so ashamed." Then you can make a big joke out of it. You can dance to rubbish music together. You can take lots of silly photos on nights out. You can take lots of silly photos in general. You can have pig-out evenings together and eat more Dominoes than you thought your stomach could handle. You can even wander into their room in your lycra gym shorts and your bra, talking some rubbish about how many battered sausages you've eaten this week. 

Just a couple of thoughts that were knocking around in my head. Phew, at least they're out now.

Big love, xo

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