I hate the fact that it seemed like there was a succession of dismal accounts of my life - 'I've just come out of relationship, boo hoo' 'I'm finding it difficult to get over someone so I'm going to have a huge rant and confess all my deepest feelings for him' 'I'm getting slightly better so I feel like I should blab about it.' In all honesty, I have decided that as much as I dislike myself for writing some of those things, and perhaps being a lot more open than I should have been (I sometimes refer to this blog as a kind of public diary), I am kind of glad I did get that out of my system.
See, I've been going through a bit of a life trauma. I won't go into the ins and outs, because there are kind a few and they're kind of boring and lengthy. And also, a bit too personal. As much as I enjoy plastering my life all over social networks, I do wish for some element of privacy. My life took a bit of a nosedive last term, but Christmassy things and having a bit of a break from uni certainly helped, and I'm feeling slightly better about things, though I'm still prone to slipping back into bad habits (i.e., Friday night and the excessive amount of gin that was consumed, I'm not exactly proud of myself, let's put it that way).
I did begin writing a New Year's post about a week or two ago, it was really upbeat actually. Unnecessarily so. I was on fire - loving the library and revising my bum off, having a wonderful time with my highlighters making my notes resemble a rainbow; I was eating so healthily that Dr Christian would have been proud (that guy off Embarrassing Bodies who has a smokin' hot bod, but is sadly gay, I'm a bit gutted to say the least), and I was having a fab time with my housemates (I still am, I love them to bits). Then I was a bit of a knob when we all went out after rowing camp (yes, that's right, rowing camp).
Slightly weak at the knees. What a stunner.
It's okay though, silly things happen, and I know nothing was meant. I know what I'm like underneath anything I may have stupidly done or said. I'm actually feeling confident right now, which is a bit mental. I'm a good person (sometimes), and I have good intentions (they may not always work out as planned, but they are there initially) - and I genuinely do think the world will all be sunshine and rainbows one day.
The next year is going to be fab. I have decided this. I have an amazing house of girls to live with (one is my beaut of a best friend) - although I technically would say I live with a boy as well, because I swear Lucy's boyfriend has taken up residence here, but it's okay, he's decent - I have such a interesting little circle of friends, I have the best family I could wish for (and Mumsie is totally in the best friend zone at the moment, I feel we are good pals right now), I am obsessed with the gym which can only be a good thing, and I am healthy (as far as I know, I don't have any life threatening diseases right now so that's a bonus).
Another couple of stunners.
I'm such an idiot when I write. This definitely comes into the 'I'm going to blab about good things' category. It's a good one.
I'm off to have some food now. With full fat mayo. Life is definitely heading uphill.
Big love, xo