Tick tock, Tick tock...

4 days. Only 4 days until I will be in Heathrow, panicking in the departures lounge, after staring absent mindedly at all the duty free that I think I want but I definitely don't need.

The nervousness is setting in, I can feel it.

I need make sure I've got all my essentials. PANIC, PANIC. Perhaps that's my cue to head to Boots and raid the holiday section. Insect repellent, I'm coming for you.

Big love, xo

The Indian Summer

School's out for summer!

My second year of university is DONE. Completed. I have one more year until I'm off into the big bad world to begin the 'grown up' stage of my life. Post-student. I'm dreading it.

Thankfully that isn't quite yet. Summer's started. And guess what!

Earlier this year, I signed up to a TEFL programme which offered an opportunity to teach in India. I was over the moon and beyond when - after various different emailing processes, an interview, and other formative routines - I found out I would be teaching in a school in Kerala! It's been a lengthy procedure of gaining my visa and booking flights plus having travel vaccinations, amongst other bits and bobs, but it is now less than a week until my flight from Heathrow.

I AM SO EXCITED.

I hope to write as much as I can about my trip there on this blog, and give everyone updates on my travels/my time at the school!

The countdown to Kerala is on!

Big love, xo

P.S. Every time I say I'm going to India for the summer, the Stereophonics song plays in my head and gets stuck there for days.

Walking Home on Thursday

Note to self: 
Next time you walk along the street pretending your unopened umbrella is a lightsaber, a good idea would be to make the swooshing sounds in your head rather than uttering them out loud. This will save any forthcoming embarrassment which could occur when the man who is trimming the tree branches gives you a strange look and begins chuckling to himself.

There Goes That Consonant...

"Those three small words

Were way too late

Cause can't you see that I'm the one?" 

- Three Small Words, Josie and the Pussycats

Is anyone else a little bit scared of using the 'L' word?

I throw it around in everyday situations, applying it to whatever takes my fancy. I love that dress, I love this chocolate, I love that guy/girl! I over-exaggerate and get very excited about small things, and apply excessive feelings towards things that probably don't require such fond words. I describe people as 'lovely' and 'beaut' all the time, just because that is my own language now. Much of what comes out of my mouth is complete and utter nonsense, and ridiculously embroidered. 

I like pretty things. Pink things. Bright colours, rainbows, sunshine. My language is the same. Making everything sound perfect is one step closer to it becoming happy and beautiful. I sound like a small child, but I'm not changing for anyone. Sugar coating everything makes the miserable things seem a lot more bearable.

So, the 'L' word. Love. Big love. I have big love for my readers, my friends, my family. A lot of love. I'm giving it away like a freebie here. Roll up, roll up. But isn't there a difference to loving someone and being IN love with them?

It's a right puzzle. It crops up in all our lives at some point, I think. You'll see it on TV shows, in films, read it in your books. How do you know you really love someone? Whether you love them as a friend, that sparkly happy feeling of appreciation and admiration; or whether you're in love with them. What's the boundary? Where is that tipping point which flings you into that terrifying world of true love?

I think I've been in love before. I'm 21 years old, so people may say that's too young. But my kind of real love has only happened maybe twice. However, I'd say it was different for each case. Each scenario changed depending on my age and how my mind worked at that point. I've felt myself get more mature because of both situations - learning from my mistakes. Those people have prepared me for what might be coming. I am a little bit more in control of myself, I think about my actions, and I have this horrible habit of mulling over what I really want to do (if I actually do like someone properly). 

So what is being in love with someone? I think it's hard to define. For me, I'd say it's that tingly feeling you get when you look into that person's eyes. When you think of them you smile to yourself. You appreciate everything they do, and you can forgive almost anything they do. With my last boyfriend, I would have forgiven him for anything, I think. Which is rather creepy if you think about it. Maybe that's excessive love.

I think you find out if you loved someone if you break up with them. If it's a situation which you can move on from quickly, maybe you weren't a victim of Cupid and his little bow and arrow. If you're still having an emotional palava five, six, seven, eight months on, then maybe you were. Thwack, you're hit. It might be time for you to turn up the volume on that Taylor Swift track and do some screaming into your pillow.

All you are is mean... And a liar, and pathetic... la la la

But obviously you don't want to find out this way. 

I just know it's a scary word. It sticks in your throat; you move your lips struggling to get it out whilst it tries crawling back down to the pit of your stomach. 

Should you fight for it, or should you leave it there, down in the depths, buried forever?

Sunshine and Rainbows?

Big smiles, xo

Bon Anniversaire!

My brother Stephen had far too much choice cake-wise this weekend.

Along with finally being able to drink legally, he was spoiled with some super cool presents for his 18th.

We had a little afternoon tea sesh at the White family household - I spent the morning baking and little else, and produced probably too many cakes, and have been trying to palm them off (fairly easily) onto people ever since. Each family member was issued with a cupcake each when they left, after having a sugary sweet slice of birthday cake.

We even went to the Warner Bros Studios today as part of Stephen's birthday present. I think I've fallen in love with Rupert Grint far more than before.

I'll post some more soon.

Big love, xo

Easter Sunday

I think it's acceptable to make a pre-birthday cake.

Funky Monkey.

Told you I was going to.

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE. Make sure you eat lots and lots of chocolate eggs (or bake them into cakes, I made the filling of this cake out of some of mine...)

Big love, xo

Recipe Time: Choc choc chocoholic

Yet again, I've been stuffing my face with cake. Or, more accurately, trying to stuff everyone else with cake. Hey, it's cold outside. We need the energy.

Being home means unlimited access to ingredients. We have a few shelves in the kitchen that I refer to as 'The Baking Cupboard' - which is pretty much my version of Disneyland. Along with the essentials (flour, sugar etc.) there are lots of other little nifty bits that are always useful when having a spur-of-the-moment cake making sesh. Which would count for the majority of times that I decide to be baker for the day. There is a rainbow-inspired assortment of food colourings: Dr. Oetker is a big fan of labelling them with fancy names, Sunshine Yellow and Ultra Violet being my favourite. Then there's the various packets of nuts and dried fruits, vanilla pods, sprinkles, chocolate pieces... You name it, it's in there.

Wednesday this week was a productive day. I made two different types of cupcake. Chocolate chips were the major feature, with vanilla buttercream making an appearance on both, except one had a little twist. I added peanut butter to the mix, and also after piping the buttercream on top I left a space in the middle to spoon on a mouthful-sized amount of peanut butter, straight out of the jar. Yummy yummy. Next time though, I think I might work on making the peanut butter ones a little bit lighter. I think there was possibly a lil' bit too much flour in there. My Dad very much enjoyed it, however I'm my worst critic and I say they weren't quite there. Mary Berry would have had some comments to make, I feel.

What a babe.

Sooooo. Let's go by the usual cupcake mix. (Click here.)

Good ol' choccy chip...
If you follow all those instructions apart from putting in the oven (I'm being lazy and not bothering to rewrite. Or copy and paste. Hang on, that would have been a splendid idea...), you need to add about 200g of chopped chocolate into the bowl, and mix it in with the cupcake batter. Make sure the chocolate is cut up into small pieces, much like chocolate drops. You could use those if you prefer. I also used milk chocolate for this, but I suppose dark or white works beautifully as well. Bake like usual.

Pipe on your buttercream in a swirl and add on some decoration. I chose to alternate between coloured hundreds and thousands and chocolate sprinkles, adding white chocolate chunks to the top of each. 

What you'll need for the buttercream...
140g butter or margarine
300g icing sugar
1 tbsp milk
2 tsp vanilla extract

Method...
1. Making sure the butter is soft, start beating it and add in the icing sugar in small amounts, sieving it as you go.
2. If the mixture becomes too stiff to cream together, add a little bit of the milk.
3. When all is combined, pour in the icing sugar, mixing the buttercream well until all the ingredients are combined.
4. There you have it! Scrummy vanilla buttercream. Pop in a piping bag and away you go. Or just dollop on top for an effortless look! Time for decoration.

The peanut butter ones are a little different. I'd use the same cupcake recipe again, but I'd probably only use 110g of flour, then add about 3 large tablespoons (just stick your spoon in that jar and go for it. Don't forget to lick the spoon afterwards. But don't put it in the bowl after, you minger). Add in 200g of chocolate pieces like before and fold that all in. Cook like usual.

The next bit is icing the cupcakes. Leave a space in the middle after piping on the buttercream. You can pop a dollop of peanut butter there and then decorate that with milk chocolate chunks. I also chose to add a couple of mixed nut pieces on there too.

Hello sugar rush!

Go on, eat up, you've deserved it after all that hard work. Baking is stressful.

Big love, xo

P.S. I'm still really excited about baking a cake for my brother's birthday. Maybe I can make two cakes... A pre-birthday and actual birthday cake? That would work, right?